Have you ever noticed? Blindness is one of the conditions of being human. I suspect you too are blind to some degree.
As we make our way through the events and challenges we encounter every day, this is totally understandable. Our attention is kept turned to what we are doing, whatever we can see in front of us as we address the task before us.
This not only makes us blind to the other things around us, it often also makes us blind to the impact we have on those around us—in particular, the gift each of us can be to others.
This gift may be something we have done, or it may be just the way we are.
Why is that? Since the beginning of time, humans have needed to identify risks and threats in order to survive. It’s part of a survival reflex common to everyone and it’s been built into us over generations. That’s why you’ll often see your screw-ups before you acknowledge your “successes”. Self-judgment can seriously distort the story you tell yourself of your life. It’s how you have been conditioned. In my own case, my father would say “You should have done better.” And when I did better, my mother would say “Don’t get a swelled head!”
This dynamic operates with everyone around us. In making friends, and developing and sustaining relationships, each or us feels a need to “belong”; to be loved and appreciated. Because we are all sensitive to whether we are being accepted or not, you too, are likely hyper-sensitive to what you might be “doing wrong”.
So it’s time to balance this picture out a little!
Imagine what it would be like if you saw each day as an opportunity to reach out and acknowledge a friend, a member of your family, or a work associate for something they have given you, some way they enriched your life. It could be a card, a note, a cake, a flower, or just a word or a hug. With that gesture, you could help them “see” a side of themselves they may usually be blind to.
In particular, you might consider the older people in your life, those teachers and mentors, parents and grandparents and other elders who may wonder what they have contributed in their long lives. After all, they have tried their balance on the same tight rope as you, unsure of their value or how they are seen by others. As with anyone, it would be life-affirming if not life-transforming for them to receive acknowledgement and gratitude expressed for some act they’ve done, something they have said or shared that had a positive impact in your life.
And for that moment, they would no longer be blind to the gift they have been to someone—and they would see value in themselves.
This week—every week—think of someone you care about and help them see the light they shine.
